


life is an oil painting and you smudged the pigment

by oh_no_what_plot



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, House Party, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kinda, this is my response to the many elorcan fics on here, we need more malide fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22863802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_no_what_plot/pseuds/oh_no_what_plot
Summary: at a party, elide remembers her relationship with lorcan, and reflects on how much life has changed since thenaka you guys need more of this ship and i will provide
Relationships: Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre, Manon Blackbeak/Elide Lochan, Past relationship - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	life is an oil painting and you smudged the pigment

**Author's Note:**

> me: *sees that elorcan is a popular ship*  
> me: huh  
> me: *creates this*

It was too loud.

When Asterin had dragged Elide over for a party, she had implied that it would be with close friends, and that it wouldn't be big. Now, standing in the corner of the room and trying to avoid the drunk party-goers dancing around her, she mentally berated herself for her naivety. Of course, there were close friends here - Elide could make out familiar faces among the blur of the flashing lights - and the _venue_ was rather small, but there were too many people for this to be completely safe and the room itself was overflowing.

She couldn't stay here.

The beat, low and thunderous, vibrated through her skull as she pushed against the crowd, constantly being jostled around by the oblivious dancers. They didn't notice her walking past. Nobody ever did.

Not until she'd met Lorcan, of course, all those years ago. She had been eighteen, still in high school and somehow still relatively innocent, and he had been far older. At first, he had underestimated her age, thinking her to be only just a teenager, and acted as some sort of saviour to her, but as time went on, he proved to be more than just a mentor. What everyone had warned her about had come true; the man had wanted _her_.

She finally stumbled out of the crowd and into the corridor outside, where there was just enough room to breathe between all the groups milling about. This was the area where gossip was whispered and spread, where the real trouble lay. Catching a few eyes pointed at her, she hurried towards the stairs as quickly as she could and began to ascend them. The beat was quieter here, no longer pounding her head. Somewhere, the people had dropped away and left her more or less alone.

Pausing for breath, she took out her phone and squinted at the screen as it turned on. Three messages were glaring at her, but she couldn't find the energy to care. No, she needed a quiet room to herself.

As she slowly walked down the corridor, peering into each room to find that they were all taken by couples both drunk and lustful, she recalled the way Lorcan had carried her to bed one night in such a state and softly whispered his deepest secret to her: that he was in love with her, and that he wanted nothing more than for her to feel the same. Elide, young and confused and tired, had looked into his dark eyes and found herself unable to respond. There he was, openly admitting his feelings, his black hair framing his tanned face and his thin shirt doing nothing to hide his muscles and - well, he was somewhat mature and _he_ liked _her_ , so what other chance would she get? Her thoughts had been murky as she blabbered out something about how he was the kindest man to her (which had been true at the time, and wasn't _that_ wretched?), and he had barely let her finish before he was leaning forward, his mouth on hers, his hands already moving to remove her shirt.

She couldn't remember much more of that night, but the older man had reminded her the next day, and had told her that they would be happy together, that he would protect her no matter what happened.

Elide pulled herself back to the present and shook her head. No. It would not do to think of those times now.

Carefully, and so quietly, she tried another door, and was grateful to see that it opened to an empty nursery. There was no way anyone would to do anything scandalous in here, where there was a cot in the corner and soft toys littered all over the floor. Again, she briefly wondered who actually lived here, and why they would throw a party in such a house.

Below her, the music was still somehow audible, but now at least it was a bearable volume. Sitting upon a comfortable chair clearly made for reading bedtime stories, she extracted her phone again and this time read through her messages. They weren't urgent, just her friends telling her about the terrible version of beer pong taking place downstairs and something about the latest gossip, but it grounded her to hear them, even if it was through text.

Her eyes drifted over to the time, and she sighed. It was long past midnight. She should go home.

The song downstairs changed, and she found herself remembering the fight that had changed everything, the fight which had torn reality from under her feet and revealed that everything she'd known was no more than an oil painting smudged beyond recognition. It had been a Saturday - that much was still clear in her mind - and Lorcan had brought a few bottles of beer and some friends over to their shared apartment. Elide, being the kind but oh so trusting girl he'd expected, had let them all in. She had laughed at their strange jokes she didn't understand and sung along with the vaguely familiar songs she had heard when she had been a young child, far too small to have been listening to them properly.

And maybe she shouldn't have agreed to join in with their excessive drinking games, and maybe she should have called someone when Lorcan had looked at her like _that_ when she had clearly been intoxicated, but somehow she had woken up the next morning with a raging hangover and her boyfriend's hands still exploring her.

It had been like everything had fallen apart over the next two days. Finally calling out the fact that he should have asked for consent, _real consent for god's sake_ , she had sparked an aggressive and furious part of the older man that he had hidden from her for months. After being rescued by her only friends, Manon and Asterin, it had taken a while for her forget the monster he had transformed into, even when he had apologised and begged her to return to him.

Elide let out a breath and closed her eyes as the song finished and she tried to forget that awful night with all of his friends singing that same tune around her. Sure, he had hurt her, but it was long ago, and he didn't deserve to occupy so much of her mind. Since that terrible night, she had overthrown her old life and taken huge strides towards becoming the kind of independent woman she had been hoping to be before she had met him. And beyond that, she had found someone who truly did make her heart stutter every time she saw her, someone who had waited for Elide to say something first because she knew it was important to her that she was really, honestly sure that she had feelings for her.

Just as she was thinking of this, the door opened and revealed the familiar face of Manon, Elide's best friend and girlfriend. _Speak of the devil_ , she thought.

"All good?" Manon asked, closing the door behind her and perching on the edge of the cot.

"I didn't know you were here," Elide replied, a small smile growing on her face. "I thought Asterin would tell me if you were."

"Actually, she was going to surprise us both, but turns out she lost track of you before and sent me to find you," Manon said, smirking. "Apparently, I'm best at tracking you down."

"I'm not too shocked," Elide chuckled, and stood up.

The two met in the middle and shared a short kiss before Manon indicated the door, her gold-flecked eyes shining in the faint light from the bedside lamp. Elide reached out and let her fingers run through her girlfriend's hair for a few seconds, enjoying the smooth texture so unlike that of her own darker hair, before Manon began to speak.

"Should we go grab some cake?" she said, and Elide's mouth fell open.

"There's cake here?"

"Of course!"

The two burst into laughter and left the room, their destination the vast kitchens this house held and their minds occupied by thoughts of each other and delicious slices of cake. As they descended the stairs, Elide looped an arm through Manon's and let her head rest against the other girl's shoulder.

She didn't even notice that all thoughts of her ex-boyfriend had been driven out of her head.

**Author's Note:**

> please comment with any feedback!
> 
> (note to self:  
> v1: 5/98  
> v2: 6/142  
> v3: 13/297  
> \--  
> v4:)


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